Jessies Jokes For Kids

What do you call a 100 year old ant?
An antique!

What was King Arthur's favourite game?
Knights and crosses!

What is lion's favorite food?
Baked beings!

FATHER: How are your grades, son?
SON: Under water, Dad.
FATHER: Under water? What do you mean?
SON: They're below C level.

Why do cows like being told jokes?
Because they like being amoosed!

What is a baby's motto?
If at first you don't succeed cry cry again!

Why did the witch put her broom in the wash?
She wanted a clean sweep!

Why do birds fly south in the winter?
Because it's too far to walk!

What's an aliens favorite candy?
Martian-mellows.

Why is England the wettest country?
Because the queen has reigned there for years!

Why did the computer sneeze?
It had a virus.

What do you call a fossil that doesn't ever want to work?
Lazy bones!

Why did the teacher wear sunglasses?
Because his class was so bright!

What do you get if you cross a canary and a 50-foot long snake?
A sing-a-long!

What do you call shoes made from banana skin?
Slippers!

What kind of flower do you have between your nose and your chin?
Tulips.

Why did the pupil eat his homework?
The teacher told him it was a piece of cake.

Where do computers take their pets when they get sick?
To the Intervet.

How do you spot a modern spider?
He doesn't have a web he had a website!

What did the sea say to the sand?
Nothing, it just waved!

What did one eye say to the other?
Between me and you, something smells.

Why did the belt go to jail?
Because it held up a pair of pants!

Why did the cookie go to the doctor?
Because it was feeling crummy.

What did the teddy bear say when he was offered some lunch?
No thanks, I'm stuffed!

Where do Aliens keep their sandwiches?
In a Launch box

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